Tuesday, June 17, 2008

it's all about the experience...

i realized a couple years ago that i had been living much of my adult life in survival mode, just going through the motions, trying to do the right thing, trying to make it from day to day...but not really living. it took some unforeseen changes and some painful twists and turns before i could see my life for what it was, what it had become; apathetic, lonely, indifferent, hopeless, limited, disappointing, fatigued, emotionally detached, embarrassed, depressed, geez...i could go on and on! i hadn't given up, i kept the faith, but i was still only existing, not living. i found myself approaching 40 and "holy crap! how did i end up here?!" a do-over was out of the question so i decided through god's guidance, love and grace that it was time to start over. and i have. i am restoring my vision, reviving my passion, beginning to dream again. i am making minor adjustments daily. i am saying "yes" and taking risks. i am looking for everything good that i can get out of any experience; big or small. i am doing things just for the experience, just to say i did it. i am having fun. i am laughing again.
i am 41 and living...

6 comments:

Pat said...

CRAZY!!Girl! Wish I could live in your shoes right now. Changing things up is different. Douglas and I notice that the kids are not around this week as much and it is totally different.
WOW!
Have fun Girl!

Anonymous said...
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JustDoingLife said...

I'm loving this attitude!! You are so inspiring and such a fun 41 year old to hang with!! I hope I am just as fun as you one day! More blogging!

GD said...

You're a Free Girl Now.

KatieEWalters said...

love i wanna hang w! u everyday to and just remember i say this in the mirror daily...well maybe weekly, i am free, i am wild. i am coyote :)! i dont know... it just makes me laugh!

Beth said...

I think it's incredibly brave to make any kind of change. I really dislike change - okay I admit it I'm really afraid of it - I think you are so brave!
This clip made my tummy get all floppy - yeeshka.